Excuse me if I'm brief. I just completed a document that was 4400 words, 25,000 characters to take to the director of home care, to stand in my defense to have my care maintained as it is and as it has been for 13 years. Ridiculous, I know. Understandably policies change, methods and knowledge grow, but in this case it's unreasonable, they're trying to put me inside of a box which I do not fit and to accept what they are proposing would mean great illness for me. How do I know this for sure? Past experience and 17 years of intentionally educating myself about how I function now.
I may need to go further than this. At times a person just wants to roll over when they're being mistreated and deceived but there is a principle that must be stood on. I fear that should I just give in and either accept their proposed changes to my own detriment or go with private care which is not cheap, to say the least, that I would regret it the rest of my life. I have not spent the last few years delicately working on becoming more assertive and standing up for myself as a valuable person, to be kicked in the head like this.
The last thing I'll say about it is that I am absolutely dumbfounded how one little sheet of paper containing a long-standing policy, not reasonable given my circumstances, they've now decided to use, is what these people are standing behind against all of the proof, evidence and experience I am providing them with. It's completely irrational, unreasonable and unethical. As much as I derived a degree of satisfaction from hearing the waiver in their voices and seeing the tremble in their hands as they delivered the news that they knew was unjust, I suppose sleeping on a bed of over $150,000 annual salary would ease their guilt. They even disregarded a surgeon's orders. I wonder how that would look to the eyes of a higher authority.
So, negativity aside, spend your energy fighting, formulate your defense, choose who to approach next to hear reason, and focus on the good things like incredible parents, a beautiful seven-month old daughter, a pillar of support that is my wife, and an enthusiastic little dog who's always happy to give me a hug and make me smile. All of that is great but I am not unappreciative of the friends and other supporters who have lent me their offer to do what they can, if there is anything at all. Perhaps I will need to start a social media firestorm. If it comes to that I will be asking a favor that you share, whatever form that takes. But, for now, it's time to go grab a few minutes of shut eye while I can and try to focus on the good things.
I've done what I can do for now and that makes me calmer than anything.
