What is Lost Can Never be Saved

 

   

 

 

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The photo in this post had been brewing in my mind and heart for years, earlier than the narrative of this post. There will be no explanation of the title or contents. The symbols speak for themselves and, regardless of if you know me and my tastes, I expect this photo to tell its story by itself.

The concept had come together, the technique and the execution I was certain of how to accomplish completely in camera, with the most minor of digital processing to create the final image above that you see. Once again, my sincerest appreciation goes to my dad for his help building some supports and my wife for helping me to position a few things safely, without the whole rig coming crashing down. Perhaps one day I will post a behind-the-scenes photo, for now there are much more important things to discuss.

What pushed me over the edge with an urgency to create this photo was the second most significant negative change in my life that I have ever experienced, and by far the most stressful and prolonged. It's long so jump to the conclusion, if you'd prefer.

It's no secret that the Saskatoon Health Region is in a deficit position. Add to that the significant growth in our province's population, especially in the major centres, and you run into even tighter capacity to meet the needs of people. Not just as related to health, but transportation, policing, infrastructure or any of the other public services we use, benefit from and pay for on a regular basis. Many times since I began using the services of the Saskatoon Health Region's Home Care I was told by front line workers that I would end up using private care after growing weary of the bureaucracy and domineering of the publicly run system. 13 years later, those people who told me that were finally proven correct.

The Health Region was on a cost-cutting mission, especially reducing clients who require their services for a longer period of time per visit. What I require is more than a 15 minute meal prep or medication visit. Their attempt to force me out was not met without some resistance. Their methods and reasoning were regarding changes in policy and changes to best practices of care, changes that were implemented years earlier, but conveniently ignored until now. The current method of care was the method I had been receiving from the first day I was in City Hospital for rehabilitation over 19 years ago. It had not changed in quality or outcome or method, methods still used by the vast majority of peers I spoke to during the length of this fight.

Weak reasoning focused around an autonomic blood-pressure response, experienced by almost all quadriplegics, was the spindle they were teetering on. The autonomic response occurs whether I am in pain, being tickled or in the cooler section at Costco. Any stimulus below my level of sensation causes it. It happens, it's my body's way of communicating with me that something where I cannot feel it is occurring, subsides within seconds of alleviating the source, and in all my years with a disability has never been life-threatening. All of a sudden, this was a big concern for them. At their request I immediately booked appointments with the appropriate doctors to confirm that the way things were, and have been since my injury, was just fine. After those appointments it was very clear that I had the support and reassurance of both my family doctor and the other specialist with whom I've worked, closely. Both of those I had worked with much more recently and further back than the doctor whose opinion the Health Region chose to agree with. You'd think I was dealing with an insurance company.

Already, with Home Care, I had felt like a time slot to be filled, not a human being who wants to make the most of his life, whatever capacity it might hold. The unrealistic options being given to me would have cost the Health Region ridiculously higher amounts of money and been completely unscheduled, which would've made my life a matter of sitting around waiting for Home Care to show up. On enough days I already struggle to place a high enough value on myself, spending the best portions of my energy to bring value to my family, friends and society. The thought of this becoming my life is as discouraging and depressing as anything I had experienced. Breaking my damned neck wasn't even as discouraging because as soon as I was stable I was being encouraged by those who have gone before me, assuring me that you'll be back to living life, soon enough. Now, those whose duty it was to improve my ability to live a quality life, or the ones threatening to tear apart all that I had built.

Why not just give up the fight and seek care somewhere else? Firstly, because it is government subsidized. In fact, as I found out later, the subsidy for the 14 years prior to this had been calculated incorrectly and by my math, I had been overcharged by the Health Region for more than $20,000.

Secondly as to why not give up, because it was wrong for them to push me out. A citizen of the Health Region has a right to the public service (barring any misconduct or disrespect, obviously none of which would come from a person like me) and for them to dictate my life and my care was wrong. Meetings with individuals like one of the Region's bioethicists (the man who, through this whole process, I had great respect for because of his fairness, levelheadedness and reasoning) along with a plethora of other people in positions you don't just casually make a meeting with, resulted in what I will consider an acceptable compromise.

I am aware of those who went outside of their duties on my behalf. I'm not certain they would have had I not fought so hard, maintained communication by writing in order to catch inconsistencies and liars in their lies, nor if hadn't had occasional inside bits of information from eyes on the inside for me to catch them off guard with during certain meetings. My overall feeling at the end of it was that I felt fairly well equipped to push back. I cannot imagine how difficult it had been for those who had no choice but to give up, when being pressured so hard by people in authority they should be able to trust. I know there were more before me because I spoke with people and I know for a fact that I was the last client with my type of care to be "addressed". I do not know, had I been the first, if I would have set a precedent for people to demand what they have a right to, but that is in the past.

The one person in authority, who I would have expected to have had my back, did not. Decades of success were thrown out the window because of a best practices change that suited the current financial situation. One of the phrases you'll often hear from any reputable source is that no two spinal cord injuries are identical. The new best practices policy, ironically, does not work perfectly for everybody and, in fact, often works more poorly for those who have been using the previous method for the majority of their disabled lives. The new best practices method is inadequate to complete the care properly and the alternative using newer technology is viewed by some as destructive in the long term. It could be compared to running your sharp kitchen knife through the dishwasher. It may be easy and save a few minutes in the beginning, but once that blade is dull and all of your food preparation takes longer each and every time, in addition to adding the danger factor of using a dull knife, you have significantly harmed the usefulness and life of that knife, forever. Knives can be sharpened while damaged human reflexes cannot.

One's right to self-determination, a human right, was in question. I won't get into the details except to say that because of the change in what is considered best practices, I remind you, ineffective or a great number of paraplegics and quadriplegics, is no longer considered ethical to "force" someone to complete the care. By forcing a health region employee to complete the care it supposedly violates them. But, according to the Health Region it's acceptable to disallow a client any right to planning and living their lives (because the caregiver could arrive at any time of the day) and also is acceptable to use technology without long-term study and potentially destructive to the client. I cannot help but ask who will be forcing physicians opposed to Physician-Assisted Suicide to do something they are morally against, if the time in this country comes. But, I digress.

Thankfully, my resolve made for the agreeable compromise I spoke of. That compromise was the quick approval of me for the Health Region's individualized funding program, where I am allotted funding to pay for private care, care that is not cheap for anyone simply seeking it without financial help. This is a much more costly option for the government and taxpayers but, it's federally funded so the provincial government, and local health region, doesn't care because they get to pass the buck/bill. Politics, good governance and financial prudence at its best!

After a brief but reasonable conversation with the fully medically trained private caregivers, they happily received me as a person to be cared for. No longer am I a time slot to be filled but someone whose business is appreciated and whose satisfaction is wanted. In fact, I feel total freedom to adjust the schedule when needed in order to take advantage of an opportunity that may come my way which necessitates an adjustment. In addition to the reasonable people I work with now, those who give credibility to my intelligence and my unwillingness to harm myself, understand that it is a team effort. They know that I'm happy to advocate for my own care, with them reliably there, when I need any support. As mentioned, which brought them reassurance about any of the a rational concerns brought about through this rigmarole, I had the support of those physicians who knew me best and who live in the real world, not the one of theoretical medicine which tries to squeeze unique individuals into the same mould.

Had Home Care management not lied to me and tried to deceive me, but come to me stating the situation and worked with me to make the change, I would not have been so steadfast in my resolve. That our healthcare system could attempt to do such a thing to me, in Canada, frightens me. Without the support, experiences and information I had available to me I have no idea what would've happened. Any lingering bitterness comes from those lies and deception, and the amount of stress and hopelessness I endured, when I should have been exuberant enjoying the growth and development of our daughter.

Conclusion (TL;DR)

1. The government was trying to manage the overcapacity state of healthcare in our province. I would be pretty certain in saying that they did not tell health region management to lie, bully and pressure people out of the system. And, don't blame the Saskatchewan Party. The individualized funding program has been around since the NDP were last in power. It's not Brad Wall's steps towards privatization of our healthcare.

2. Go ahead and throw as much money as you want at hospitals. All the staff and all the money you could throw at it, as it exists now, will not make more beds. Trying to get people home and under Home Care as long as they need it, as soon as possible, is trying to free up those beds for the next people needing one.

3. So, throw more money at Home Care, right? The steady decline in what care aides are able to do has been obvious to me ever since I began receiving the services. Along with that, morale has plunged and far too many of the best caregivers have had enough and either moved on to something else, or lost their drive to do the best they possibly can. Meanwhile too many of the people around them do a half-assed job so when they do try to go out of their way to do something that really makes a difference in someone's day, it's probably not on the list of designated tasks, and they get reprimanded by management for it, instead of praised for making a difference and showing what it looks like for an organization to care about people.

4. While some employees cut corners, make significant mistakes or have repeat injuries because they do not follow their training, what can be done to make the lives of clients better by care aides is throttled because management wouldn't possibly think of calling out an individual on their laziness or ineffectiveness. If they did, their union would (and has) defend them in obvious cases of wrong behaviours. The result is to diminish everyone and what they are allowed to do for people, damage their reputation and leave the problem for the next shift to deal with.

5. Do I think that private healthcare is better? Not necessarily. It's more costly, in the long run being paid for by insurance or other subsidies results in cost cutting which results in reduced quality of care. For now, I know that I am treated like a customer who they want satisfied and loyal. I would love to see our public system revitalized, but there is no accountability, threat of reprimand or loss of shareholder confidence. We are the shareholders and it doesn't really matter which boss we vote for.

Somewhere in there there needs to be some hard work, a huge attitude adjustments and the courage to call out individuals on poor work ethic and bad attitude, and much more positive reinforcement of staff doing a great job. Organizations on all sides should know better than to protect their members, employees, managers and clients from improper behavior. When you don't, everyone looks bad and the mandate of healthcare being a team effort becomes a laughably depressing ideology.

Christmas Cuteness - One of the Things I Am Thankful For

 

   

 

 

It was a great visit to Swift Current for Christmas. I hadn't been there since Thanksgiving of 2014. Fiona was a delight and melted hearts each day. Only one run-in with Santa upset her. More on him, in a minute.

As is often the case, the paper and boxes were as exciting as the gifts. For awhile, anyway. It wasn't too long before we broke into the shopping cart full of groceries and bag full of other food that grandma and grandpa had bought her to go with her new kitchen. The tea set had to stay in the box, though. She wanted it out but with all the little pieces we wanted to make sure everything made it home. Sometimes, though, the best things are free. In the first photo of Fiona you can see a gift bag that she was just enthralled with and really enjoyed carrying it around, heading to the door and saying "buh-bye!" I guess she was going shopping for that last-minute gift before bed on Christmas Eve.

Santa did stop in for a visit, and she was fine to observe him and try to figure out who this man in red was. Grandpa picked her up to come over and say hello and that was little too much. She was definitely upset about that but I sure was glad to see Santa because he brought me three, 4 foot fluorescent light fixtures. We picked them up from his garage on Boxing Day.

The one thing that I have wanted with my recent ultraviolet light portraits has been more light. I have been pushing the image quality to the limits on my camera. It is a stellar machine but definitely aimed at studio work, not a pitch black garage with a cobbled together selection of ultraviolet light sources. Now I have plenty, and expect the next shoot to have the image quality I really want. That's not to say the first shoots did not have great images. I was really happy with everyone's work. But when I look at the full resolution images I know what is possible and now can see that it will be what I have come to expect.

Regarding hard work, anyone who believes being a model or artist is easy should really give it a try. Taking the time for makeup, enduring the tedious downtime between actual creating, the physical strength it takes to play a large instrument or hold that pose for "just one more shot" is not to be dismissed. A significant number of people have put in hard work for my benefit, and I recognize and appreciate it. Sometimes it was mutually beneficial, other times it was completely selfless and all for my benefit. The very brisk weather conditions I asked young Olivia and my assistant, Rae, to endure for a sunrise session is a prime example. Those photos will be coming, soon.

The hard work put into this toybox by Fiona's grandfather can be seen in the meticulousness and the details. That same grandfather has spent so much time coming up with and building solutions for me. Those solutions could be adaptations to make things easier for me to use or they could be custom tables and supports to hold up prop for a photo that's very important to me. A photo that I needed to make last year, following the most stressful time of my life. That photo and the related post may or may not be coming, soon. I have lots to say and it needs to be said, just right.

I recognize the generosity and hard work of Santa (Dennis) who, without hesitation, offered me as many of his spare light fixtures as I needed. They were designed to be mounted to the ceiling and when he knew what I was going to use them for, quickly offered enough cord to wire them up to be plugged into a typical household socket.

Countless people have assisted me on shoots and made many of the images you see possible. That self-portrait from last summer, took me four days to put together. Had Angie been here I bet you would've been three hours, tops. It was nice to accomplish it independently but it made me appreciate any and all help I have received over my entire life.

This is not a sob story. I am reasonably strong at administrative and organizational work. Bruce has been the one to do so much of the legwork for Help-Portrait the last few years, but I'm quite happy to be on top of communications, curating lists of volunteer information and doing whatever I am strongest at. That's the way it should be in any project, regardless of disability.

I know it's not about keeping score, but whenever I have the opportunity to help out in whatever way I am able to, I don't usually take long to make the time to help out, well. Often it's through education, experience or information, which I'm always happy to communicate as clearly as I am able so that the one I am helping can accomplish their objective, efficiently.

The number of times that my parents-in-law have looked after Fiona so that we can go out together, or Angie can go out with the girls, is so greatly appreciated. We have a very good daughter and she is very easy on us (though, it looks like she's getting her eyeteeth and is one hurting little girl who should have been sleeping almost 2 hours ago) but a little bit of time and space makes us appreciate her spunky personality and impromptu dance parties, all the more.

They may not look all that similar, but she has her cousin, Will's, energy and drive to entertain. With her giggles, exploration, dancing and general performing I think they will get along very well as they grow up together. He may have a pretty big head start on her, but I'm thinking there might be a few stories to come between these two.

For me, 2015 started with great difficulty. I know that a degree of faith, determination and hard fighting made a turnaround at the halfway point. From there the year has gotten better and better, and it continues in full momentum with me having the time and opportunities to do what I love. For others, it was an entirely difficult year, with significant loss, bad news and trials like I cannot imagine. I was not exaggerating when I said it started as the most stressful time in my life, but contrasted to so much of the personal anguish that some of the people I care about of had to face this past year, it pales.

For those who I refer to reading this, if my way to return the help you gave me is to be an ear to listen or simply a distraction, contact me. I can do that for you.

Kiwi's Haircut, Summer Disappearing and Our New Addition Getting Closer

 

  Kiwi, Watching Out the Window? No! by Jay Scott on 500px

It has been a little bit busy around here, lately, hasn't it? I guess there has been a small gap in the shooting and baby preparations so I've had time to process photos and post. Summer is passing by s quickly despite my best efforts to make the most of every day and opportunity.

Certainly there are a few more nonessential things left to do but we both feel like we are as prepared as we can be, for the things we have some degree of control over. I have a few picture frames to paint, yet. There is a minor bit of decorating to be done but, like I said, that is not essential. The feeling I have is like that of the approaching winter. By that I mean in preparing while there are minimal restrictions. Every late summer and autumn I find myself trying to get done every last thing I can that is most easily accomplished before there is snow on the ground. What usually ends up happening is that the snow does not interfere nearly as much as I think it does but each year I find myself in preparation mode before the weather adds its additional challenges to everyday life.

Kiwi has had a recent haircut, as shown by the photo above. Next week will be my turn along with a trip for physiotherapy. The thing is, this baby could take up to a month to arrive which would actually be quite a bit of time in the scheme of things. Wow! Every time I say those words it seems a bit surreal. I have moments of complete acceptance of all of the good things about come our way, along with the uncertainty of the changes. Then I have moments like right now when I can't quite believe it, yet.

Angie's friend was commenting on thinking about taking their new son for swimming lessons in the fall but said that maybe she would wait until spring and they could do it together. That was a big reality check for Angie when she thought, "we're going to have a baby!" It's not just about the pregnancy. It's about the rest of our lives. Today, in fact, as I was making my way down the street to make a photo for Challenging Reality, I was thinking how helpful it would've been to have had a little helper for either a push or to carry a piece of gear. I know that won't be for at least a few years but I look forward to the opportunity to teach what I know and have been taught, as well as reap the benefits of a little helper.

I'm sure that our current little helper, pictured above, might have a few jealousy issues. But there's almost no reason she can't be involved in all of our activities. There will be plenty of attention for her and plenty of delicious droppings of food from little hands learning their dexterity. That won't be for a little while, but it will probably be more interesting to our food-driven dog than my lap has been the last while.

I will add to the photo below, as we have additional shots and as time permits. However, with it being as close as it is there is much more reason to post promptly because we just don't know when the last post and last progress photo will be!

Gaining Traction in the New Year

It has been a little bit quiet around here since before Christmas, even. That does not mean that things haven't been going on, it's just been content I am unable to share, yet. The above photo is a teaser of some of it. Work has been produced, projects have been ongoing, unique one-time opportunities have arisen and consumed reasonably significant portions of time, but with good results.

As I've stated before, so much of my energy goes into Challenging Reality because I feel that that is the area where I can have the greatest usefulness as the body of work continues to grow. I had this idea that I would start my campaign in early January and have sent out dozens of cold e-mails (similar to a cold call but an e-mail) and have seen my readership on Challenging Reality skyrocket. That has not happened because, though I have a prewritten e-mail, I am trying to customize it to each individual or organization so that they know I actually have an idea what they're about and and not just sending them unwanted form e-mails. That takes time. Not to mention, it is intimidating to send out those cold e-mails. I'm not even having to be rejected as a person may be with a cold call. I simply don't receive responses from those who are uninterested. And, I have received some very affirming support from a number of organizations that I have reached out to including the Shriners Hospital for Children in Chicago, where I had a very brief visit 16 years ago. They gave me both some people to contact and permission to use Doctor Vogel's name when contacting them. He is the lead doctor in the neurological department of the hospital and the doctor I saw when I was there for a few brief hours. In addition to that they want me to be one of their people featured in the alumni portion of their newsletter, once it is instituted.

While attempting to interact with the Rick Hansen Foundation on Twitter, I was responded to by Reveca Torres from Backbones Online.com who wanted to feature me as one of their Hi Rollers, which is the post linked to in this sentence. That was no small honour and was the second time in a week I was having a conversation with someone in Chicago. As well, Challenging Reality will be featured in her newsletter that reaches over 2500 people and she wants me to write a post about it for her blog. I will begin working on that as time permits. Another potential upcoming opportunity related to disability is a piece I may be creating for Brain Week here in Saskatoon.

Brain Week is a worldwide week of events at various places, mostly hospitals and Universities, of activities, displays, artwork, silent auctions and other things that will help increase the awareness of brain injuries and diseases. It was thanks to Help-Portrait this year that this opportunity came about. A couple that I met at the gatherings for Help-Portrait, Garrett and Amanda, have connections with one of the researchers at the University of Saskatchewan who is organizing this year's events. They may not be as extensive in the past, but hopefully if I do make a photo it will be useful to the event. Whether it will, or not, I have already found a gelatin mold shaped like a brain that I have access to, not that they are hard to find online, but at this time of year shipping can be slow, so I will be making a photo of a brain analogue. In the interest of not making it look like a preserved brain, I started looking for real images online last night and was somewhat surprised at the feelings they caused in me. As with most internal anatomy, it isn't immediately beautiful. I think what caught me most off guard was my response to seeing the underside of one where the brainstem had been separated from the spinal cord. I will do my best to find a recipe that best resembles the colour as to have the greatest impact.

As much as there are a number of photos I have mulling around in the back of my mind, the ones I feel most motivated to complete are those related to Challenging Reality. With so much of the advertising and networking time being spent the time for actually making photos has been reduced and I find it impacting me. A number of them I need to wait until the weather warms up, others will take portions of time and portions of our home to complete. I'm still trying to find the best bracket of time for those without leaving too much equipment set up for too long in our living room or dining room.

In the next little while I will have something with more variety than the repetitive pattern of photos of Kiwi that I am noticing on here. Sometimes a lot of my own personal work has seemed to be without purpose. Challenging Reality put an end to that but I know that had I not played around, photographed the variety of things that I have photographed before now, and simply experimented, I would not have been ready to put together the quality of work I am not able to for when opportunities like Brain Week arise. Supposedly, to become truly skilled at any one thing you need to put in at least 10,000 hours. I have no idea where I am at time-wise, but I do recognize that any time spent studying, practicing or experimenting will pay off in the long run.

New Hallway Photos

 

  Cool Hotdog - 2

  by

  Jay Scott

I'm ashamed to say that the frame in our hallway with the five spaces for portrait oriented photos had become quite outdated. The photos of Kiwi contained within were still cute but they all included the use of selective colour, which is the reason I was ashamed they were still there. The days of using Photoshop to remove all colours except for one is long gone and when I see that thankfully short-lived cliché being used today I cringe just a little and immediately, on a subconscious level, assume an amateur status of the photographer who made the photo.

Kiwi enjoying a run with Uncle Riley at Riverside Park in Swift Current.

That's one of the problems of the fast pace of the digital age. Everything moves so fast that what was once cool and neat becomes outdated faster than fashion and clothing. Instagram filters, making clean, crisp, vibrant digital photos look like they were made 30 years ago, adding film grain or any of the other currently trendy post processing techniques will likely run their course in short order. This is not to say that they aren't worth using and a lot of people really like those looks, but I do not. I like my images to be as timeless as possible. The value in creating images that have those techniques applied to them is just as high as creating the images I am trying to create. I just know that my personality will not allow me to blur something sharp, wash something out, or desaturate something below what is seen by our eyes. It's no secret that I often increase the saturation in an attempt to brighten the world around us through my photos.

I realize that the following photo does have an imitation of selective colour but it is not a cheap Photoshop trick. The nuances of the red light warming up the white backdrop along with the cool light hitting Kiwi's back and playing into the folds of the blanket make for the natural look that you subconsciously see when you look at a real photo as opposed to a Photoshop mimicking. However, one technique that I use often that I am fully aware is cliché and will be outdated before too long, is the use of extreme cool and extreme warm light as in the very first and very last photo of this post. Video games, movie posters, music album covers, all currently use these colour extremes and get away with it, as I get away with ridiculous bright neon colours when I'm photographing Kiwi. But I do realize how quickly they will become old. One of my favorite photos I made of food used very subtle differences in the colour of the light and I should try to remember that as I work to develop my style.

 

  Kiwi - Canada Day

  by

  Jay Scott

Often the look of the photos I make is a bit dramatic, and that is mostly in my choice of lighting, but trust me when I say that our dog is seldom as intense as she appears in a lot of the photos I make of her. I have one more in mind that might be tricky to execute but I'm going to make it happen one of these days. It will be a slightly long exposure of her laying with her head between her front paws, like a Pound Puppy, with her little tail wiggling. The long exposure will allow her little stub to be a cute little blur as she lays there watching while I talk to her trying to get her just interested enough to wag her tail but not so interested that her head pops up from between her paws. Ironically, I often find it easier to direct a dog, who only understands a tiny fraction of the words I say to her, than a person. I guess it's all about relationship and knowing your subject.

 

  Kiwi - One Light

  by

  Jay Scott

The frame in our hallway now has five fresh new photos that will likely keep us smiling as we walk by for at least a few years. In the meantime I will be constantly making new shots of our little Poochy who will be turning six in one short month. By the time we are ready to replace the photos I'm sure I will have five new satisfactory shots to fill the frame with.

 

  Kiwi - July 2013

  by

  Jay Scott

This final photo did not make the cut. We decided to opt for the close-up portrait you see at the very top of the post but, despite every recommendation to show only your best work, I wanted to share this final and sixth photo with you.

 

  Cool Hotdog

  by

  Jay Scott

Hey, Goober! Where's the Video?

The editing is going well but the audio is not. I have found that the best tool for recording proper voiceovers is, ironically, my cell phone. Even the microphone that I'm using to dictate this introduces noise and distortion that I'm sure you wouldn't want to hear added to my nasally voice. Thankfully, the computer accepts that noise and distortion amongst the sound of my voice to create coherent text.

Eventually our West Coast vacation video presentation will be posted for your viewing pleasure.

Until then, I will give you a test photo of, who else but, Kiwi. I have an opportunity this coming Wednesday evening to make some photos for a couple that will finally enable me to use the gear and knowledge that I have to create photos I have always wanted to create. Kids are great. But they are active with a short attention span and it is very difficult to get the lighting that I am so passionate about creating with people who are so busy and on the move. Two adults, this Wednesday evening, will change that to something I am very excited to create.

So, I was testing the equipment I have and trying to gain confidence in my frugally purchased equipment. When used properly it can be very effective but I won't deny a little bit of GAS that I have had lately. That is, Gear Acquisition Syndrome. I have been looking at some wonderfully effective, but very pricey, lighting equipment lately. Some of which has been purchased by friends and I know they will make good use of it. I also know what I'm capable of creating with what I have without the expensive price tag. However, I have not regretted the times that I have invested good money for good equipment and how it has made creating same photo that I could make with previous equipment just that much easier. Considering the disability I am already fighting against, I will take every advantage I can, without breaking the bank, that is.

So, with the amount of light I believe I can effectively get out of the setup that made the photo above, and the nice early sunset (small camera lights are always more powerful when contrasted to waning daylight) Wednesday night, the session should be a success and maybe the revenue from that can be allocated to a savings fund for when I do need to rent/buy the better gear.

I will have some things to say about this year's Help-Portrait events coming up and encourage you, if you have any interest, to get involved. Few things in my life have been as rewarding as participating in these events.

Enjoy the rest of the summer!

A Gentle Start Back to Work

CPU by Jay Scott

After the better part of a week of catching up on bills, bank records, returned messages, phone calls and e-mails, I was finally able to dig out my real camera the other day and make a photo. Sitting on my shelving unit was this CPU from Angie's last dead laptop.

I have been meaning to photograph it for a while and do not feel that it is anything too spectacular but good to get back to shooting. I needed to make sure I still remembered all of the nuances of lighting, focusing, and working the angle until it was just right. I had planned to continue working on the photos for Challenging Reality but they were not coming together in my mind as well as I had hoped. With all of that time driving I thought I might spend a bit more of it thinking and developing a few of those photos in my mind. There was just so much to see where we were that there was far less time for thinking that on the routine trips we take regularly on the highways of Saskatchewan.

The posts on Challenging Reality will continue as usual on Monday mornings and, again, as much as I appreciate the views, what I really need is your feedback and for you to share it with others. I have been spending any relaxation or TV time folding flyers, stuffing envelopes and getting them ready for distribution. I really hope to pick up steam and gain a greater awareness of the site, and the work that I have done, starting this fall. It's then that I will really be pursuing and asking for your help.

Here is What Has Been Going On

A few privileged readers are aware of what I have been working on and why it has been so quiet here for the last little while. I have been working for over two years on a personal project that I have finally decided to put out there and share it.

I settled on the name "Challenging Reality". It is a growing collection of artistically photographed barriers to quadriplegics and the technology that allows them to overcome those barriers, survive, and complete tasks otherwise difficult, if not impossible, to complete without.

It can be found one the web, http://challenging-reality.blogspot.ca/ and on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChallengingReality.

Your feedback, comments, suggestions, Facebook "likes" and eventual contributions are greatly appreciated and I invite you to make those locations a place you regularly visit.

I had considered simply sharing it on this website but it grew to many dozens of photos already and I felt that if it was going to be a long lasting archive and resource on the Internet for quadriplegics that it deserved its own home. That is why it has a separate location from this website.

Certainly there will still be activity on here because I will be shooting the things I love, as well. But I feel like the photographs for this project have a much greater, longer-lasting, value than most of what I post here.

Please check it out and let me know what you think!

Thank you.

Jay's List of Photography Resources

The lists are a fair bit further down if you don't want to read my rambling, again. :)

I have discovered something lately about photography. I really enjoy teaching it to people. When you get someone that really wants to learn and when they have that "ah ha!" moment it pleases me. It makes me feel like I have done my job in teaching that concept.

There are a few schools of thought about those that teach photography. There is the standard "those who can't, teach." And then there are those out there who sell phony formula-style systems that, when followed, will supposedly make you an instant master photographer. As with anything there is learning, struggling with concepts, maturing, developing your style and your own personal way of doing things. Then comes the time to pay your dues, network, market, prove yourself for evidence of your ability and make certain that evidence is available to anyone who might be considering hiring you.

Myself, I could never imagine not shooting. There may be slower times when the processing needs to be done, the seasons and weather aren't ideal but those do not stop me from making photographs on a regular basis. I have no fear of becoming one of those photographers who stopped shooting just to teach. As for formulas, there are settings to learn and features of every camera to master so that you're spending time working with your subject, be it a person, a pet or something inanimate, so that when the time comes to shoot you are not fumbling with your camera, wasting time and losing your subject's optimal look, be that a smile or the steam coming off of a hot plate of food. There are the "technically correct" photos that lack communication, emotion or a sense of story being told. That is what the engineers designing scammers aim for because they have to for something so why not technical correctness.

It is not until you have mastered the settings and developed a style for what you want your photos to look like that you can start to actually make those photos as envisioned in your head appear that way as a final result. The point of all this is that it is not one day workshop that is going to turn you into a true artist. In fact, thinking that there is a finish line at all is short sighted. I follow many photographers who have been doing this for many decades and they still surprise me on a regular basis when they write on their website about something new they have learned completely unrelated to the technology of photography but to the art of creating an image.

On the day that this is first written (I plan to keep this post updated over time) I had coffee with another one of the photo ministry team members at Ebenezer Baptist. She had some questions that I was more than happy to answer and watching her understand the concept I was trying to instruct was really pleasing to me, just as I described earlier. She mentioned her desire to go to school in the near future and I asked her what for and she replied, "photography." I was a little bit surprised, not because she doesn't really love photography, but that a degree in photography is one of the least required official certifications of all the trades and skills out there.

Now, I am not undermining the value of a university education, but I am self-taught and have searched high and low in DVDs, books, articles, videos and many other sources of information and, where everything I heard was once new to me, I now typically learn one new trick or idea from hours of consumed material. Likely there is a less identifiable kind of information or learning being absorbed by me when I do consume that material but my point is that I do not feel like by getting my education from virtually free sources I have missed out on anything that would make me a better photographer. Let me just add that stating that I am self-taught does not mean that I picked up the camera and learned everything I know by using the camera. It has been by the generosity of the people you will read about it in this post who have shared their information, their wisdom and their experiences that have enabled me to learn what I have learned for the remarkably low price that it has cost me over the years.

If four years of university tuition cost a person $30,000 you could spend $1000 per year on various premium structured materials, develop your skills and be working at the same time to pay for your educational materials and build your experience and skill much faster than in a university setting as well as have an exceptional portfolio before you would be done your formal education. Without question, it would require some self-discipline and probably run you more hours per week than University alone, but that would be time spent shooting and doing the things you love, as well. If you come upon a concept you do not understand while consuming those purchased materials you are but a Google away from greater clarification of the term you did not know to search for five minutes previous.

Let your portfolio be your credentials. A framed certificate in your office is not going to get you clients like top-quality work displayed throughout your local area would when it comes to photography. That is my opinion but it certainly is not the right path for everyone.

As I have said, there is so much that can be learned for free online but there will always be great value in conversation, critiques and face-to-face interaction with other more experienced photographers. In addition to formal classes, that is what I would like to provide for people and if you are interested in either I encourage you to contact me. I would be very interested in providing classes as well as those opportunities to fill in the gaps and have a conversation about specific things you may have learned that could benefit from additional clarification.

On to the list of people and websites I have followed in the past, considered to be valuable for someone in the earlier stages of photography and those websites which I follow regularly now. (Last updated: 12/11/2012)

Great places to start learning photography:

Digital Photography School - Gear, shooting, post production, Lessons, how-tos, support forums. Downfall: posts very seldom go beyond basic info. If you start to plateau or aren't learning new information regularly it's time to move on from here.

Fro Knows Photo - Jared Polin shares with you his experiences, tips, gear reviews and pointers in writing, but mostly in new YouTube videos multiple times per week. He is much more about the art than the gear and that will make you a better photographer far faster than dumping money on more equipment. Some premium and some free educational resources are offered by him.

There are many, many more, but these two are what I've found to be the best places to begin and are free, or very low cost.

Intermediate to Advanced Learning:

Professional Photography 101 - A good site with thorough examples of how to photograph different types of subjects. The biggest flaw of this site is the way many of their articles insinuate that their way is the only way. Two words: creative license.

Kelby Training - This one is not free, but for $25 per month or $200 per year, you have thousands of hours of training from dozens of working professionals in all areas of photography including shooting all genres, lighting, processing, business aspects and everything you could need to become a great photographer. I have not purchased any training from them, yet because either I haven't run out of free material or haven't had time to spend absorbing all that is offered there.

CreativeLIVE - My favourite location for learning all things photography and much more. The classes are broadcast live for free. Decided not to go to school for photography? Write the live courses into your schedule. The classes are available for purchase at special rates of usually $100 if purchased by the end of the live broadcast, or typically $150 after the broadcast, with occasional sales. I have paid for material from CL. Three, eight hour days of teaching for $100? Yeah, I can do that.

Craft & Vision - Remarkably affordable e-books in PDF form from the top names in the industry with topics of everything you could want to know related to photography. I have not purchased much from Craft & Vision because I'm terrible for not reading the e-books I already have. What I have read from them is excellent and far superior to your average 10-year-old hardcover books sitting in a bookstore.

Ask Me Anything About Photography - Zack Arias - So much material from one of my top five favourite photographers. Endless material to keep you reading and easily formatted to skim questions for those you are most interested in. Few people tell it like it is, without being arrogant, like Zack.

Strobist - Learn to Light. David Hobby shares his decades of experience as a lighting photographer. Almost every photographer will use lighting techniques, eventually. David shares all of his knowledge for free, organized into classes just ready for you to consume. He offers a few DVDs but almost nothing on them is not on his site in written form. Best to have your photography basics under your belt, but DH does a great job walking you through the how & whys.

Photography News

Petapixel and Fstoppers - The best two places to get all your photo news about gear, trends, up and coming photographers, interesting projects people have done and many other interesting articles to informed and inspired. I prefer PetaPixel's writing best, but both sites cover almost identical stories, some breaking on one site or the other, first.

Gear Information Resources

SLR Gear / Imaging Resource - Two separate affiliated websites for gear reviews, SLR gear being focused on lenses, tripods, flashes and a few camera bags, Imaging Resource giving you the most thorough and detailed camera body reviews you will find on the Internet.

Digital Rev - This website deserves to be in every category. They provide shopping, comprehensive gear reviews both written, and video, photography tips and techniques (though some are awfully beginner and not as comprehensive as they could be) but are most definitely interesting and help to keep you in the loop of what is new and how the new products stack up. Their YouTube channel is where I focus my attention and they have new videos 2 to 3 times per week.

Certainly, I have more places I go to for information that this but these two are my primary places when I am researching lenses for cameras. Researching things beyond basic camera and lens photography, such as lighting equipment, is best done by sites dedicated to that type of gear. Lighting, strobist.com is my go to website, for example.

Equipment Acquisition

I use acquisition because much of what I use is do-it-yourself or home made equipment when it comes to lighting. As such, my first site recommendation is DIY Photography. Here you will find some tutorials, DIY light modifiers, DSLR video devices and accessories, many giveaways, and a solid community of photographers looking to think outside the box and help one another.

Don's Photo - My primary place to get my gear that cannot be made yourself or gear that simply needs to be the best, from a reputable, knowledgeable, warranty supporting seller. They price match any Canadian seller and are local.dealer with staff you get to know and who get to know you.

B&H or Adorama - The two largest photo and video equipment suppliers in North America and for good reason. They have very competitive prices, helpful staff and fast shipping. Adorama has a great print lab and a free video podcast with much good information. B&H has an unbelievable inventory of anything you could possibly need, especially their store brand, Interfit, that provides decent quality products for a lot less than the brand name products. Be aware that your purchase shipped to Canada will come with duty and import fees which can exceed the cost of buying locally, if that is an option.

Midwest Photo Exchange - A great supplier of standard equipment, but more so many things you cannot find locally, especially their Strobist kits and other lighting equipment. Like B&H, check out MPEX's Lumopro brand. Great quality at often less than 1/3 the brand name cost. Their shipping is fast, but often import fees seem quite high, however, I've heard it has more to do with the shipping company you choose.

Flash Zebra - For those cables and adapters that you cannot find elsewhere, these guys really fill a niche at reasonable prices and shipping.

Deal Extreme - Your home for all things Chinese knockoff. There are the ethical concerns about a lot of Chinese products such as sweatshops or Joby researching and developing their $85 Gorilla pod then Chinese companies reverse engineering them and selling them on DX for $12. The price differences combined with free shipping (which takes about 4-6 weeks) free of duty is hard to beat when top quality is not your goal. That said, would I trust my DSLR and a large lens on a knockoff Gorillapod? No. But a flash on an umbrella swivel? Yes.

Amazon - Shopping on Amazon.com from Canada can be frustrating. Find the right product at the right price? "Sorry, we won't ship to your location." Yes, you will? Great! How much is shipping?...Ouch!... Import fees?... Doable. Return policy and customer service?... Sometimes iffy, depending on the item. You buy it at Don's, they'll ship warranty items for free. Buy it at Amazon, shipping is on you and by this point you didn't save much by buying online.

eBay - When in doubt, try eBay. Competitive pricing, but no customer reviews like other sources.

Shows to Watch

Kelby TV - Comprised of multiple shows on multiple topics. My caveat is that it is that they do spend a lot of time selling you on a North American Association of Photographers membership and on Kelby Training.com. Both worthy, just be warned. Also, often opinions and personalities are strong on these shows and they are very people photography oriented. It is not uncommon for me to stop an episode of The Grid part way through unless they have a great guest on it.

I watch the Grid and D-Town TV, now called Photography Tips and tricks. The Grid is a talkshow with much to do with trends and the industry, a little on technical skills. PT&T has some interesting pointers, but remains very basic in the information that they offer.

DRTV - Digital Rev TV's YouTube channel. Like I said above, many gear reviews, some photography tips but mostly very interesting characters, doing street photography in Hong Kong, walking through the most interesting places making their videos. Often they have very interesting guests and unique series of videos. Definitely one of the uploads I look forward to a few times per week.

YouTube Channels to Check Out - Benjamin Von Wong (Montreal), The Camera Store (Calgary), Chase Jarvis (achaser123), Jared Polin/Fro Knows Photo, Kelby Media Group (The Kelby TV shows on YouTube), The Slanted Lens and Framed Show are the main photography YouTube channels I watch.

People to Follow

Once you have your technicals down, there will be a void to fill and that will be the creativity and detailed or specialized areas of photography. Where I gain much of my motivation and influence is by following these photographers' tweets, blog posts, books, DVDs and other online content:

Joe Mcnally - Portrait and editorial photographer based out of New York with many years with work experienced in publications such as National Geographic. A master of lighting,  incredible teacher, nice guy, funny and as easy to like and learn from as anyone out there.

Chase Jarvis - Commercial photographer and director based out of Seattle. Chase doesn't teach much in the way of technical information, but he will motivate you and has given back so much to the community of photographers everywhere. CreatiiveLIVE was his brainchild.

Zack Arias - As straight a shooter as anyone you will follow. He tells it like it is, generously provides perspective and advice on everything from gear to business to life as a photographer which is seldom an eight to five job. In addition to his site linked to in his name, his tumbler blog  has 1,000 questions answered from followers as of the end of 2012. As of this writing he is on his end of year social media hiatus while he focuses hard to conclude his year.

David Hobby - The Strobist. As mentioned, his site has comprehensive lessons on learning to use off camera flash, all for free. What you miss on his site are his retweets/reposts of very applicable information and interesting articles. His lessons took me ten steps forward in my understanding of photography. If you do shop with Midwest Photo Exchange, click to them through Strobist.com to give DH his commission. For all he has done for free, he deserves it.

Jeremy Cowart - Is a commercial photographer based out of Nashville and the creator of Help-Portrait. He is an incredible artist in more than just photography and a compassionate humanitarian. A real inspiration to want to be more than just a big name in photography.

Peter Hurley - A master of the head shot based out of New York. I've only recently begun to follow him. A very assertive character and former olympian, he is a product innovator with great ideas to fill gaps in the photography equipment industry. If you are shy watching him will help you move beyond that and see how to get those superb expressions from your subjects.


Is that everything and everyone? No, but my top names and sites. To look at it it can appear overwhelming. Check out one or two and go from there. I am only able to keep up on everyone through RSS feeds using a reader like Google Reader and by subscribing to the YouTube channels so I am notified when I go to YouTube who has something new to watch. Information overload is a problem with today's technology and a person needs to not be afraid to consume only what you can digest. High quality, low fat, content. Shooting will always be the best way to learn so if you are reading far more than shooting, take a step back and evaluate your ratios... Says Jay after this huge post.

If you have additional suggestions for these lists, want to chat about them, or want to have some learning time with me, send me an email (jayscottphotography AT gmail DOT com) and we will make it happen.

Weaknesses

I recently received a letter from seventh floor rehab at Saskatoon City Hospital giving me the opportunity to participate in a research study to see which needs are being met and which are not being met for post acute care spinal cord injury patients in Saskatchewan. I have scheduled the interview for this coming week, far sooner than I expected it to occur. Included with the letter was a short survey that could be filled out instead of or in addition to the longer interview. I was intrigued by the questions contained within that survey and it certainly made me additionally curious about the interview next week.

One of the types of questions on the survey was regarding how you, the person with a spinal cord injury, feel about your ability to accomplish tasks or reach goals if you put your mind and energy to it. I have heard from more than a few photographers, artists and writers that believe a philosophy of "hurry up and fail" is better. Most definitely there are things that are worth striving for regardless of the difficulty or time would take to accomplish the goal, but I tend to agree with them in most situations. Be it a book that has not captivated me within the first few chapters, a TV show that cannot keep me interested or continually disappoints with total lack of believability, or a skill that would take four times as long to develop and provide minimal benefit on a day-to-day basis, there is value in knowing when it is time to quit. Being able to do things for yourself is great but if you are more efficient at doing one thing and can outsource the other why not focus your skills where you are most effective? This is where I felt that in a number of places the survey I filled out really limited the ability to elaborate the reasoning for choosing the answer I chose on a question by question basis. I am very hopeful that the interview will allow me an opportunity to dig deeper and give them specific answers as opposed circling a number from 1 to 5.

Whenever I am working on our bank records and budget, watching "Smarter Every Day" on YouTube or anything else with a subjective nature I am reminded of the fact that, though I really enjoy photography and am enjoying more forms of art all the time, I still have inside me a person who appreciates structure, symmetry and order. Anybody who knows me knows how little I typically care for spontaneity.

This past week, while editing photos from a family session last Saturday, and today while shooting flora at the same location as those family photos, I really began to notice something developing in me. That thing is symmetry. I have read and heard from numerous professional photographers that it will take time for you to develop a style. It will be there, but until you shoot enough and find your groove you may not realize for a significant period of time that you have style. Looking at those photos last week, paying attention to how I framed photos today and thinking back about so many of my still life photos, I can see symmetry. I am not and should not be surprised by this. Symmetry, order, structure and sharpness are what I seek.

So, to answer the survey's question regarding being able to do anything I put my mind to, the answer I had to put was "not confident at all". The key word being "anything". Had they chosen "most things" I would've answered differently. Perhaps I could hire enough manpower to haul my butt down to the shoreline of the river for that perfect scenery photo, or maybe to haul me off the side of a mountain or even just up a ladder for that perfect perspective that I want when making someone's portrait. But that would not seem to be the most effective use of my resources. It is a weakness. Deal with it. To pursue that type of photography, even though there are times when I do it just for the fun of it and it can be really rewarding, would be an endeavor full of frustration and failure for all the wrong reasons. A little bit of failure so that you can learn from your mistakes is a good thing. Frustration because of a physical limitation that simply cannot be overcome in any reasonable way, if at all, is not worth fighting against. Realizing that sooner than later is far better than swimming upstream and never getting anywhere.


As much as many of the limitations that I am keenly aware of on a day-to-day basis affect me, I also know that very often there are very reasonable alternatives or workarounds to overcome or avoid situations that magnify the limitations. That was one of the questions on the survey, "how confident are you that you would be able to find a solution to a problem if one arose?" In this situation I most definitely had to circle number 4 out of 5. I cannot say that I can always find a solution but most of the time I am able to.


One of my weaknesses with using a heavier camera and professional lenses is simply the weight. Because I need to support the camera with my left hand under the lens and my right hand on top of the shutter button I am not always able to provide proper support to achieve the steadiest shots and often certain angles down or up are simply not possible for me without risking dropping the camera. Thanks to some experimentation on my part and a lesson from my number one inspiration, Joe McNally, I have found the grip that works far better for me than the grip I was using years ago. This includes a portion of Joe's method of tucking the camera into your shoulder, the breathing techniques my dad taught me for target shooting or gopher hunting and making a triangle out of my left forearm, left upper arm and the camera supported on my left hand and against my cheek, with my elbow resting on my rib cage for steadiness.

I have embedded the video of the lesson from Joe and if you use a DSLR please watch even just 30 seconds starting at the 6 minute mark. Please, please, do not use the overhand grip on your lens. Do you know how badly I would like to be able to provide two hands of support on my camera? Please, do not disable yourself. :-)

So, with weaknesses in mind, and my style clearly aiming for order, symmetry and absolute sharpness, I have found myself insistent upon using off-camera lighting. In dimly lit situations where full lighting control is necessary I know that no matter how poor my grip may be, how tired or weak I may feel that day, or any other compromising factors, I know that the flash duration of 1/4000 of a second or faster, no matter how long the shutter speed or how shaky I am, will ensure no motion blur in the lit portion of my photograph.

Finding solutions. Overcoming weaknesses. Maximizing efficiencies.

On Phases and Postings

There are different phases of being a photographer and different philosophies on which photos you choose to share. One of the things that I am coming to realize and learn lately is that the number of comments you receive on a post or the number of "likes" a photo receives on Facebook will have very little lasting value. It is not that they are not appreciated but what is of greater value is a solicited critique from someone who knows what they're talking about and being aware of your growth and development of the craft of photography.

That is what I am learning about the phase I am in or transitioning to in my work. A lot of photographers believe that you must only post your absolute best photos. When they say this they mean not just in your portfolio but absolutely everywhere. Without question I take far fewer keepers than the photos that get discarded. This is the case of any serious, working, photographer. Sorry to reveal the magician's secret but that is the way it is. Like beginning to carve a piece of wood or creating a sculpture, it requires shaping and work until it looks exactly the way the artist wants it to look. Interestingly enough, when I first started, I found that my first few photos of a particular thing or scene were the keepers. Now, almost every time, I find that it is the last few that are the best. I shoot until it looks either the way I envisioned it or a satsfactory result of the scene as it develops as I work.

The only exception to that is if you are working with a subject that loses attractiveness over time. This could be a person who is tired of smiling, is getting cold or to warm, or restless. It could also include food that is losing steam or glistening. Flowers with fast fading morning dew or a dog growing restless of sitting in the same spot and of the flashes going off all around are additional examples.

Where I stand on the question of what to post, at this point in time, is that I want to include only the best photos in my portfolio. However, I have created sets of photos that include all of what I consider a "keeper" even if it is not the best photo that I have made to date. I view this as an opportunity to monitor and display my own progress over time as well as present what I am able to consistently produce. A portfolio should be a limited number of photos and there is a great likelihood that a family photo shoot will result in some excellent photos but if every time the shutter snaps a client thinks that it is going to be a masterpiece they are wrong. What they should be able to expect is a consistent quality of work being posted which should assure any potential clients that you will get a good and reliable body of work from us if you so choose to hire us. This flow of quality photos can also be seen in regular posts right here.

Do I go overboard with the number of similar photos in some posts? Possibly. The last post with the dogs contained three similar photos of Tuffy. But that included two landscape oriented photos where he was laying down into different, and both cute, positions. In addition to that there was a portrait oriented photo of him standing up on the armrest of the couch. If these were examples to provide to the client I would like them to have the option to purchase their favorite which includes a variety of orientations.

Perhaps one day I will feel advanced enough to limit anything I share to only be absolute best. At the moment I'm happy to provide options and variety. I know that this can cause a viewer to approach it as eye candy. That is, a quick glance at the photo without really viewing it because there are more to come.

For certain I have purged a number of photos from my collection because, even though they were popular and significant print sellers in the past, they just do not meet my standards. For whatever reason, sometimes unbeknownst to me, they were great sellers but now do not meet the quality that I demand of what I am willing to place my name on. I am going to try to make it a biannual event to go through those albums and remove the below par photos that I have not seen for a while and have a fresh and objective view on. There are some that I put significant work into that did not receive the response I had hoped. Sometimes you get lucky, sometimes a significant effort does not produce results you hope for. I'm sure this is true for any craft.

Growth and consistency in cooperation with a portfolio of the best are what I feel present the real picture.

Street Photography = Creepy?

After choosing to miss a few episodes because of the way many opinions were presented, I decided to give watching The Grid another try. I resumed watching on episode 55 (link will open a new window and start playing the episode). In this episode they discuss the current state of street photography and how people feel about being photographed on the street, specifically women.

The conversation started when Scott Kelby and Jay Maisel had a confrontation while making a class in Paris. Kelby, a professional photographer, married, middle aged, non threatening man and Maisel, an 82 year old, experienced street photographer, both accompanied by a full production crew. While crossing the street Scott snapped a photo of a woman crossing in the opposite direction, who did not approve and proceeded to chew him out in French, not accepting his upheld hands and apology, following him across the street into traffic while continuing to express her disapproval. For the record, the camera crew were recording the portion for the class from across the street, a distance away. She likely did not see them.

So, what are your views on being photographed in public? Is it different as a man or woman being photographed or man or woman being the photographer? The photographer's appearance, clothing and demeanour seemed to have some weight to respondents' answers. How do you feel about the importance of those characteristics?

I've been told that I might make a good street photographer as I'm less threatening and less able to follow someone. I don't agree with those who have said that. Firstly, I'd either be aiming up their nose or at waist level or shooting creepily from a distance. Just makes me uncomfortable thinking about it.

All responses were extremely guarded if it were people's children being photographed. I must admit that I was a bit surprised by this. I completely understand parents wanting to protect their children but their responses seem so incredibly guarded it almost sounded fearful of the world. I know that I grew up in a small city in Saskatchewan and there were very few bad streets or neighborhoods that I was advised to avoid. I never once thought about being careful about where I went or staying out too late because, whether they were there or not, I felt very few threats growing up where I did. Even hearing the stories Angie has told me about growing up in her neighborhood and the cautions her parents gave to her out of loving concern, surprised me.

We all know that every cell phone made within the last five years can take a decent photo. Not just that they can take a decent photo but that they can take a decent quality photo that could fill a computer screen easily and still maintain good image quality. Add to that how a person could look like they are innocently texting and be snapping away without anyone knowing. If anyone is out to take photos with a malicious intent I would suspect that they would be far further ahead to do it with a more compact camera or a cell phone. I would like to think that carrying professional gear that is anything but concealable should lend a degree of credibility to the person carrying that massive bag and camera.

Would you feel more threatened by a person taking a photo of you on the street with a large camera and no intention to conceal themselves or with a small, yet unconcealed, camera but being less obvious or even a little bit sneaky about taking your photo?

The above photo was taken at the zoo with Angie by my side. My goal was to capture the moment of the two girls helping their mom pushed the stroller. It was not to take a photograph of anyone in particular for malicious purposes or of anyone's backside. It was that cute moment that I was trying to capture. One photo just a few seconds earlier had one of the girls looking at me with the cutest smile. I didn't nail the focus on that one so it was trashed. I'm not saying this is a great photo but it is the perfect example of what I am getting at. I want your opinion. Is this creepy? Part of the episode of The Grid focused on some of the participants stating how so much street photography has that hidden camera look to it. I completely understand what they were saying.

In general I am not fond of making street photography. I'm always too afraid to be seen as creepy. The occasional time that I do take a photo of people in public I try to have a nonthreatening demeanor with a pleasant smile on my face. Likely the reason I decided to make a photo of a person is because whatever was happening made me smile. I'm not likely to take a photo of an unhappy situation. Hopefully the people that I am photographing will not have the moment that made them smile diminished because of my actions. I don't go out looking dishevelled or dirty. I don't try to hide my actions. I will make two or three frames and move on. If I were to receive a concerned look I would stop immediately.

Almost never do I ask for permission because at that point you have lost the candid nature of the moment and it is almost always better to shoot first and ask permission later. I will always respect people's preferences if they make it known in even the slightest way that they don't want to be photographed. However, the fact does remain that while in public a photographer has every right to photograph you. I do not say that with arrogance. I am simply stating a fact. People should not feel like they can't go out in public safely but that is the photographic freedom we have in this country. Of course, this is far different than someone following and harassing a person in public with or without a camera.

I would really appreciate any feedback you have about what I said and the questions I have asked. Perhaps what I should end with is the questions, is there anything that would make being photographed in public easier for you? Or is it simply that with the volume of distrust of people seemingly on the rise, the ease of sharing photos taken with any camera growing monthly and the potentially overcautious nature people are developing because of these things, is street photography of people nearing its end?

Work in Progress

It has been a while since I have had anything to say. Not that things have not been going on, just that nothing is terribly noteworthy at the moment. I have been working on a few things but cannot share them just yet. I will give you a glimpse of the largest photo in the form of a behind the scenes video below. Of course, as with any studio photo, the final product looks vastly different than what you see when looking at the set up.

The time lapse video was made during the Ebenezer Baptist Church arts team first day of working together. I would not have minded having a better angle on the room that was less focused entirely on me but I did not know when I set up the time lapse where everybody would be positioning themselves throughout the room. It was a very good day and amazing to watch those talented painters create their art.

Here is a sneak peek of the final product.

We were gone to Swift Current this past weekend to visit my parents, help sort out garage sale stuff and go Gopher hunting. Dad and I were the ones who went Gopher hunting and we had a good time hanging out in the fields together, shooting a couple gophers and destroying a coffee can. It's been too long since I enjoyed that sport. It was a good weekend was great food, excellent time together as a family and some good discussions. It really flew by and felt like we could be used another day or two.

Last week's rain certainly has things growing and I am getting itchy to go out and photograph the color. Hopefully Wednesday will be a good day for that. As much as I have said in the past that gear does not make a photographer, it certainly can help. As I have completed a number of the tasks on my to do list, I believe now is the time to reward myself with that next purchase. Now that those tasks are completed I will feel like this macro lens that I ordered on Friday will not distract me from more pressing jobs.

The new barbecue has been proving itself as I cooked for nine last Wednesday and for four of us last night with a grill full of baked potatoes and souvlaki pork tenderloin. I'm really enjoying cooking for more people and hosting more gatherings. I hope to make a regular thing this summer and that the propane tank needs to be filled a couple extra times this year.

I hope to have something more interesting than just a few words and a very mundane time lapse video in the next little while. My favorite time of year is upon us and I will be spending more time shooting in the next little while.

Happy spring, everyone!